Kevin Rudd – High Plains Drifter

I’d been thinking that the past few days’ political drama reminded me of a movie. This morning it came to me – High Plains Drifter, yeah.

There’s Kevin Rudd riding in on the back of a 747 to rescue the little town of Lagos, (That’s the Labor government) from right wing annihilation at the hands of the Lagos Mining Company, (in this case of course, the Coalition who are bent on protecting mining companies).

See. it all fits.

Can you not see Kevin staring intently out from beneath his sombrero, the last of a cigarillo hanging casually from his sunburned lips.

Come on, work with me here.

He can even use some of the Clint Eastwood character’s lines in the movie. For example, ‘Bout time this town had a new sheriff.’ Or perhaps, when the Stranger, (Eastwood’s character), says, ‘Somebody left the door open and the wrong dog came home.’

Yeah, that’d work.

Of course, Kev is going to have to learn to speak a bit more slowly.

Anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I realised there’s real possibilities  here.

For one thing Kevin could start using quotes from a bunch of other Clint Eastwood characters that are eerily appropo.

There’s, ‘Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have fucked with? That’s me’. (Gran Turino, 2008) Now I wonder who he might use that one with.

Or, “I’ve been called a lot of things, but never funny,’ from the same movie.

How about,  ’I didn’t start shooting at anyone that didn’t start shooting at me first.’ (Magnum Force, 1973)

Here’s one, also from Magnum Force, ‘I hate the goddamn system, but until someone comes along with changes that make sense, I’ll stick with it.’ Would work well if and when he has to revisit the health system.

In Play Misty For Me, Eastwood, playing Dave Garver, says, ‘Well I haven’t exactly been the monk of the month or anything like that but I have been making an effort.’ Kevin could use that line any time between now and 10:00am on Monday.

From Madison County we get, ‘Well, if you want me to stop, tell me now.’ Although, it’s probably a tad late for that.

I was even going to suggest that old standard, ‘You gotta ask yourself punk, do I feel…’ but I don’t think there’s anyone in Labor feeling particularly lucky right now.

But the line I do think Kevin should consider comes from Sudden Impact, ‘I really should quit. Then I can handle the law my own way.’