One of my favourite pastimes is to imagine which cartoon characters various politicians most remind me of.
I know, I need to a) get a life, and b) grow up. You’re probably the hundredth person who’s said that in the past week alone.
I mostly stick with Coalition politicians because they’re often the most… er, cartoonish , either in behaviour, utterances or both.
Can’t think why that should be so.
I long ago had Joe Hockey pegged as Shrek – it’s just too obvious.
And Gina Rinehart as Jabba the Hutt’s sister. Okay, strictly speaking, Jabba isn’t a cartoon character and Gina isn’t a member of the Coalition, although she is beginning to sound like one.
Kevin Andrews is Snake. Remember him? Remember either of them, for that matter?Slithery and slippery, speaks with a hissy voice and has trouble flying straight and level when running a portfolio.
Barnaby Joyce, a bit of a boofhead who lives in the past and mangles his metaphors, is linked at a cosmic level to Fred Flintstone.
Christopher Pyne is a challenge. Pepe le Pew is a close match, but Christopher’s hair is too slicked down, otherwise it would work. Pepe was a debonair fellow, who spent his time chasing after Penelope Pussycat, because he couldn’t tell the difference between Penelope and a real skunk. Okay, now I give it more thought, it’s working.
Ahh, Julie Bishop. Julie, Julie Julie, what are we going to do with you? Lisa Simpson? As in she tries really, really hard to please everybody, but keeps coming up short? Hmm, I wonder if Julie plays the sax…
Malcolm Turnbull took a bit of figuring out. Perhaps Richie Rich, always immaculately dressed, wealthy but still waiting to inherit the corporation? Good match, I’d say.
I was spoilt with choices for Warren Truss. Facially, Droopy the Dog is the obvious choice? But I think we can do better than that? Ah, I know. Garfield the cat. Somewhat self interested and beholden to a Lord and Master whom he despises. Perfect.
Which brings us to Tony Abbott, said Lord and Master. For now, anyway.
Who else but Road Runner; a scrawny creature who appears, says something inane, like ‘beep, beep’, and then disappears in a cloud of dust as fast as his skinny little legs will carry him. Which in both cases is, admittedly, pretty damned fast.
Then he reappears somewhere else and repeats himself.
Plus there was never any finesse in the way Roadrunner goes after Wiley T. Coyote. Usually it’s a box of gelignite, blow up everything in sight and hopes ole Wiley is caught up in the blast.
Yep, that’s Tony, alright.
I just had a horrible thought. If things keep going the way they are, Roadrunner and Shrek will be running the country shortly.
Ginger Meggs, please come home. All’s forgiven.